


Cooks

by Konstantinsen



Category: RWBY
Genre: Cooking, Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 05:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18732232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konstantinsen/pseuds/Konstantinsen
Summary: Someone has to feed the gang. [one-shot]





	Cooks

Ruby Rose knew only two things to make when she was given control of the kitchen. That was either cookies or milkshakes. Both were usually laced with heavy doses of sugar and chocolate chips, enough to cost any other weaker soul a tooth or two.

But not Ruby. No. She was special. This was her creation, her masterpieces. And she had more planned. So when she was rotated to preparing food for the whole gang, she had just the perfect recipes in mind. The blender was there and so was the oven. Now, to prepare the batter and the dough and gather all the sugar—

Ruby froze.

The cupboards, the drawers, the fridge, and even the secret compartments under the island were devoid of the necessary ingredients. This can't be. This couldn't be!

How could she make her specialties without the necessary ingredients!?

No. There had to be a way. There should be a way. She was a Huntress, after all; she made ways! Huntresses were pathfinders, right? So that meant having to conjure up something with what little she had. So be it.

With her hand tight on the ladle and steely determination cemented on her face, Ruby Rose set to work.

Later that night, they ordered takeout after disposing of the shattered blender, salvaging what was left of the burnt microwave, and the scrubbing the ashes off the ceiling.

* * *

Weiss Schnee was a cultured lady. She knew her meals ranging from the simplest of appetizers to the grandest of deserts as well as the proper etiquette that came with every sumptuous dish. For a person of her stature, she was inclined to know by heart the intricacies of fine dining. There was not a single morsel crafted from the expert hands of Remnant's greatest chefs that had never graced her lips.

She was a patron of the culinary arts, a connoisseur upholding absolute standards, a customer who demanded the best of her cooks.

Her point? She was _not_ a cook.

Just because she savored the best meals to exist did not translate to her ability to recreate such masterpieces on her own. She was a Huntress, not a chef!

Apparently, none of her company could make the distinction. True, a Huntsmen should have the necessary skill to live off the land given the nature of such work. Yet, she argued, how could she make do with these 'ingredients'? Or the lack thereof?

Alas, the decision of the group was absolute. She was the night's cook. Hmph. So be it. If they desire the best from her, they would be sorely disappointed. However, that did not mean she was not going to try. Besides, everyone was hinging on her expertise to be well fed. Well, she was going to deliver. It may not be to their palates but she had the benefit of experiencing high cuisine so at least she had something to go off of.

Weiss smiled confidently at the empty pan laid before her. She was going to blow their minds.

Later that night, they ordered takeout after using blowtorches and copious amounts of fire Dust to melt the spires of ice that crested over the kitchen.

* * *

Yang Xiao-Long was confident in her cooking ability. For crying out loud, she took care of Ruby and herself when their dad hit the doldrums so hard he cracked the bedrock and stayed in the crater for months. Besides, when her father was not too busy sulking in his own misery, he was a fantastic cook so it made sense that his daughter picked up on that.

So when it was her turn to feed the gang, she had her spatula ready and the stove heating up to serve up some savory Xiao-Long grub! Sorry, Ruby, you may be the expert in sugary treats but the older sister was the culinary master. Now...what to make with what she had...

Huh.

Not that much.

Sure, she could whip up something but was that really enough? At most, she could feed about half. And that was if Nora didn't beat them all to the table yet. Hmm. She would have to improvise.

Ah, well. Nothing she couldn't handle. She was a Huntress, after all. Cooking in the field was going to be a thing anyway and she was prepared for it. Knowledgeably prepared but prepared nonetheless.

Yang laid out what she could scrounge up and, despite the mounting frustration with the lack of anything worth cooking, set to work.

Later that evening, they all ate bland prison food after the house nearly burned down in a spectacular blaze.

* * *

Blake Belladonna had field experience which included living off the land. Her time in the White Fang had netted her invaluable knowledge. Most basic of this was foraging and the cooking up whatever was foraged. And, as hinted by countless unbiased studies on faunus phylogeny, faunus had a natural advantage with scrounging up food out in the wilds.

Which is why everyone put their trust in her to deliver with tonight's dinner. Anything would do, they said. Made sense given the previous tragic attempts at cooking.

What they had in cooking equipment, they lacked in ingredients. Great. Why was this always a problem?

The fridge was devoid of anything edible while the cupboards had nothing fresh.

Oh, well. Nothing new to her. She had been a field operative. So that meant going outside to forage for something. The place had a garden after all. How none of her teammates thought about checking the greeneries growing in the backyard, she could never understand. At least, there was some radish here and some turnips too...

Wait.

These weren't radishes and turnips. Not even garlic or leeks. There had to be something in here. Come on, keep looking...

Aha!

She recognized these plants. They were edible...right? Yeah, they most likely were. It had been a long time since she last had these on a plate and everyone was starving so no one could have the right to be choosy.

With arms laden with produce, Blake sauntered back into the kitchen and got to work.

Later that evening, everyone held off of eating anything more after getting hit with the worst food poisoning they had ever experienced.

* * *

Jaune Arc knew exactly what he was doing. After what had happened the past couple nights, he had prepared. Together with Ren, they had squeezed out every second of their free time in the day to stock up on ingredients; lining the fridge, stuffing the cupboards, and storing the excess under the kitchen island.

He even had a list of recipes that he could whip up with everything they had gathered. All he had to do was choose one or two out of the ten he had in mind. Growing up with seven sisters had made a culinary man out of him.

Ingredients? Check.

Kitchen tools? Check.

Gas for the stove? Check.

Excess just in case? Optional but still check.

He was set for tonight! What could possibly go wrong?

Later that evening, Jaune went out of his way to treat everyone to dinner at the restaurant down the street given that there was no kitchen left as that part of the house had partially collapsed. On the bright side, Nora wouldn't be 'experimentally' jabbing lightning Dust into her arms anymore.

* * *

Nora Valkyrie may be brash and explosive but she also knew restraint and control. She could put together sandwiches and heat up frozen food. Not only that, she could properly sauté vegetables, slice up fruits, and even put together a decent meal.

She had grown up in the wilds along with Ren who was himself an unquestionable cooking master.

So how hard could it be to whip up something for the gang tonight?

Hmm.

There were the vegetables that Jaune went and got yesterday. Thank goodness, he had kept them safe when she had that rather embarrassing episode with the dust and all that. Nothing to worry about, property damages notwithstanding.

Veggie-sandwiches? Eh, good enough.

Now, to find the bread...

Nope. No bread. She would have to improvise. What exactly were those recipes Ren made that had these greens in them? Think, girl, think!

Aha!

With a dash of inspiration, Nora zipped around what was left of the kitchen assembling a simple meal that she was sure everyone would enjoy.

Later that evening, they only ordered drinks.

* * *

Lie Ren was calm and collected even in the face of adversity.

Tonight was not his rotation but he had to chip in for the lack of a cook. And the lack of a kitchen. And the lack of ingredients.

Truly, it was a mess. But alas, someone needed to feed the group and no one was keen on going out again as they had been for the past week now. A thorough search yielded little to be prepared though that did not mean there was nothing he could do.

Yes, there was a deficiency in edibles but he could provide double the sustenance with what he had in mind. All he needed was that replacement blender Ruby bought, some drinkable water, and the unspoiled vegetables that Jaune had thankfully stored out of reach from the damages the previous day.

Later that evening, everyone unanimously opted to go for takeout as a way to 'compliment his herbal shakes.'

* * *

Qrow Branwen was a veteran Huntsman whose upbringing gave him the advantage over many of his contemporaries. While he may have spent most of his time out in the field fending off the monsters, he still had to feed himself.

Miles away from the nearest eatery? No problem. Kill a deer, skin it, chop it up over a campfire. All set.

No animals? Easy. Pick apart the vegetation and perhaps find a few bugs. Nothing he couldn't stomach.

Desert? A little challenging but he could manage. There was always something living under the sand and while scorpions were a pain and ants had little to offer, they were better than nothing.

No question, Qrow was good at survival. He was also very, very drunk.

What time was it? It was dark out and most other establishments had closed up. Something nagged at him, something he was supposed to do but somehow forgot. Probably wasn't important. Besides, the bar was open all night.

Eh, the kids will be fine.

* * *

**ORIGINALLY DRAFTED: April 1, 2019**

**LAST EDITED: May 6, 2019**

**INITIALLY UPLOADED: May 6, 2019**

 


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